Saturday, January 7, 2012

First Self Portrait . . . I Am Here

self portrait, 1/2012
taken with iphone, processed with instagram filters

I am here
always fearing.

I am here
wondering truly what there is to be afraid of,
hoping to let go of it,
and trying to be more patient with myself.

I am here
still feeling the pain of lost love,
gazing over my shoulder
staring at the photos of days gone by,
fearing the pain will never go away.

I am here
missing, always missing.
missing the love,
missing the moments
missing the present.

I am here
longing to be free,
just wanting to be brave,
and let myself live.

I am here . . .


  1. Oh Cathy. What a beautiful picture of you. You are a beauty. Yes your eyes show grief and what you've been through I can understand. Gotta say though, I love your photo. Ah, to be young again. Stay true to yourself, just be you and happily so. Enjoy the rest of the weekend.

  2. Truly Beautiful Self-Portrait Sweet Cathy! Your Eyes Spoke Volumes To Me. And The Poem ~ Did You Compose It? The Words Defined So Perfectly The Feelings I've Been Experiencing Of Late. It Was As If Suddenly The Author Were Standing Inside My Grief. Truly Touched Me Deep Inside. Thank You For Dropping By Earlier. Your Friendship And Supportiveness During This Difficult Time Has Meant Much To Me. Sending You A Hug Along With Some Warm Georgia Sunshine, Terri

  3. Oh Cathy I am so sorry you have to feel that pain!!! I am in there with you. I have experienced too many endings and near endings in 2011 I can't believe I am still here and smiling! Big hug for youXx

  4. Beautiful both you and your words.

    I love your bouquet below using your watercolors!

  5. You are beautiful, your words are beautiful as well. They are sad, and thought provoking but there is clarity in them too. (my word for 2012) I seek that and WILL find it this year.
    I wish you a wonderful year to come and a lifetime of joy. xo

  6. I hope this coming year will be a good one for you--it's so hard dealing with grief--a part of life that we have to expect--but I know you'll get through to find the happy times. Whenever you need to talk--just email me.

  7. Touching photo and words. Beautiful, touching, sad.

    I am sorry for your sadness.