Thursday, September 8, 2011

Goodbye My Sweet Bosco . . .


I feel so sad and have been crying all night long. Yesterday we had to put our sweet pug to sleep. It was the hardest decision to make and the worst. I have eluded to bosco's health trouble in a couple of previous posts but was not ready to share it all until today.

At the beginning of all this I had a bad dream the he died. I don't ever have premonition type dreams but apparently that what it was. The short version is that about 3 weeks ago he started vomiting. I didn't think anything of it as this was a dog vomited alot during his short life mostly from inhaling his food to fast. But it continued for a few days and then the night of the hurricane Irene when we lost power he was vomiting alot. So I took him to the vet the following day and found out he had lyme's disease which was bad enough but results of a lymph node biopsy revealed he also had lymphoma. Being a cancer survivor myself I still cannot get past the fact that my dog had cancer.

We started treating the lyme's with antibiotics as the vet was unsure how much of what was going on was related to the lymphoma. So all last week he wasn't getting much better, and he even needed an anti nausea pill to keep food down. And then over this past weekend as the anniversary of my first husband's death loomed over my head he started loosing his apetite. Thats when I knew it was getting bad. So Tuesday we took him for more tests and they revealed that his kidney's were inflamed and causing all this trouble on top of the multiple swollen lymph nodes up and down his little abdomen.

We gave one last effort to get his kidneys going but it didn't work. Yesterday morning when I got him up he was starting to get really tired just walking around and would plop down on the floor wherever he was and sit there. And he would not touch any food at all. This was a dog who was a human vacuum cleaner when it came to eating.

The night before last I had a dream of him and in the dream he was at the door wanting to go out. The door was open and I was telling him wait, no, no, no..... and all I remember was him looking back at me. I feel like that was his way of letting me know he wanted to go.

He was my first pet, and the pain I feel now is almost unbearable. He would have been 8 next month. My husband wants to get another pug and I don't. Maybe I will change my mind but the thought of going through this again with another one is too much for me.

I will take some solace in knowing his is no longer suffering and I hope he is laying in the sun somewhere.
It was always his favorite place to be . . .
xo

14 comments:

  1. Oh, Cathy, I am so sorry! Hugs and love from Colorado. xo

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  2. So sorry to hear about your little Pug. My heart goes out to you - I know how painful it can be to lose a beloved pet. Just remember, the pain will ease and the good memories will remain.
    Sending Hugs
    Denise xx

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  3. I am so sorry to hear about your little buddy. I'm not going to say 'cutesy' things that I know, right now, won't mean much to you anyway. Just know that I'm thinking of you and hoping that with time the pain eases a little and is replaced with only nice memories.

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  4. Cathy I'm so very sorry. I know what you are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Bosco. ::hugs::

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  5. Sending a huge hug, Cathy! I know exactly how it is to have to put a beloved dog to sleep. Winslow is our third dog and even though losing them is beyond painful, to me it was always worth every minute I had with them. They brought (and Winslow continues to bring) so much joy to my life. I know you feel the same about your sweet Bosco! Sending much love!! Silke

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  6. Oh Cathy, this was so hard to read and I'm so sorry for your loss. As someone that has had dogs all her life, I totally understand the pain you feel. It's hard to lose someone -even if that someone is the furry kind. Just know Bosco is with you in spirit, probably watching you from his spot in the sun. Take your time in getting another pug and know that time will eventually heal the pain. Take care and RIP Bosco...

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  7. I had to cry Cathy when I read your post, I am so sorry for you. It is so hard losing a pet I hope you find some comfort in knowing he is laying in the sun somewhere dreaming away. I am thinking of you and I know what it is like. My youngest son stood next to me while reading your post and he also had tears in his eyes. We lost one of our dogs in the same way.
    We are sending you many hugs and love from the UK
    ManonX

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  8. Oh Cathy! I am so sorry to read about your friend. And; they are friends; the best of friends. We lost our beagle about 5 years ago and my heart is still hurting. May the fond memories you have with your pug - get you through these times and ease the pain in the future.

    Thoughts of you.....xxoo Marilyn

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  9. I'm sorry for your loss
    I understand you, I've been there a few months ago with my kitten
    a hug

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  10. Ohh is that your dog? what a cuty! Thanks for your sweet comment. Appreciate it!

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  11. Cathy, my heart is breaking...I'm so sorry about Bosco. I'm such an avid dog lover and truly believe they are a gift from God to teach us to love unconditionally. Too bad most of us can ever do that as well as they do. Cherish your memories of him...HUGS!
    Darla

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  12. Cathy--I'm still so sad for you after reading this. Like my doctor (Leo's vet) told me this is just as hard as losing a loved one. Do you know about the Rainbow Bridge poem? It's very comforting. If you don't--go here--
    http://www.petloss.com/rainbowbridge.htm

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  13. I know exactly how you feel. Our little cat was our child, our companion for 15 years and our joy. Two years ago now she got sick stopped eating and just lay around (not her normal self) we took her to the vet on Dec 20th and back again on the 24th for more tests - the vet told us she had kidney failure and multiple other organs on the way out - our hardest decision was to do what was best for her and it tore my heart out. We still miss her. I'm so sorry you have had to go through this, the only comport I can offer is that at some point you will be able to think of your little pug and smile at the lifetime of wonderful memories he has left you. Sending BIG hugs,
    Kate

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  14. Cathy, I'm a little behind on my blog reading and I just read of the loss of your little dog. I'm so sorry! I lost 2 of my sweet cats this year, just 3 months apart, and both from diabetes. It's so hard to let them go. Euthanasia is always a tough decision, but in the end it is better to help them through their suffering. It really leaves a hole in your heart to lose a pet. They really do leave pawprints on our hearts! My thoughts are with you!

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