I started yet another new class. Big surprise I know! Anyway, I am a big fan of Alisa Burke so when she recently announced her new class was about abstract art I couldn't resist. I did this piece in my 5x7 sketchbook using a black pen and sharpie marker.
I have to say I really enjoyed scribbling and scratching on the paper. It feels good. I was not trying to be perfect or trying to create much of anything. I was curious to how it would turn out. I feel like scribbles represent the state of my mind lately.
If you have been following my blog than you know I have not been feeling up to snuff and just not been myself. Today I started to realize that the loss of my dog back in September has affected me so much more than I care to admit. Actually I am afraid to admit how much because I don't think I can handle it. I feel lost, sad, frustrated, and seem to cry at the drop of a hat. Yesterday I was out in the backyard and looked out to the place where Bosco and I would play and I broke down. Never even saw it coming. Hit me like a ton of bricks. It was like I could see him running around . . . I am crying now just typing this.
I have not been creating much lately. I feel like I have lost my muse. I am glad I was able to take pen to paper today and get some angst out. Sometimes I wish it were that simple . . . I wish I could just scribble my way back to happy . . .
Sharing today over at Sunday Sketches.
I need to scribble tonight and determine what my state of mind of is tonight. Chaos probably with unexpected bumps tonight. Grr. lol
ReplyDeleteTHank you for sharing with us and your thoughts.
Hugs
Cathy:
ReplyDeleteHaving lost one dog that I raised , I know that we don't just flip a switch and get over it. These little creatures made their way into our hearts for a reason and just as grieving for lost family members, we grieve for them. I see your little Boscoe doing his happy dance among the trees in your scribble above. He's there reminding you that he had a good life. As trite as it sounds , time will heal and you'll let that new pup into your heart more and more. Holding the space for you to heal. Take care of yourself and thank you for trusting your friends with your transparency.
i'm so sorry that you are feeling depressed cathy, but it's so normal...as the pain lessens, you'll feel more like creating. annnnnd SCRIBBLING and doodling are a darn good way to work through that sad stuff, which looks like you are! it's been so fun so far, can't wait for more. i look forward to see where each of us takes our new abstract! xo
ReplyDelete:-( I'm so sorry you're having such a rough patch, but, as bad as it feels, maybe it's you moving through a block. That happens to me sometimes, creatively speaking. I get that feeling like I'm all emotionally out of control, and start to wonder if I'm actually just going crazy, and then...Bam! Everything opens up like a pretty flower and I go to another creative level...I hope that's what's happening with you too, and this unhappy stage won't last much longer...In the meantime, there's nothing wrong with having a good cry over Bosco. I think that's normal, right?!
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to you Cathy... I would be heartbroken to lose my fur baby... he means the world to me... I am reminded by something my Grandmother always said, that if you grieve deeply then you loved deeply, which is a blessing in itself... hope you start to feel more like you soon though... I love the scribble drawing...xx
ReplyDeleteSo sorry that you feel this way, but it's the only way to get through the grief--it's natural--Bosco was a part of your family, and you can have sad times like this--just do whatever helps and scribbling is an excellent way to work through it... (I decided to sign up for Alisa's class too ;)
ReplyDelete...sending lots and lots and even lots more ~ love bubbles ~ fly free dear gentle spirit ~ rest in a cloud for a weeeeeeh bit longer ~ yoU will know when to come back out ~ blessed be...
ReplyDelete...xXx...
I'm sorry your missing your friend. Love your scribbling... Hugs to you
ReplyDeletewishing you lightness and sending light
ReplyDeleteso sorry for the loss of your friend.
love to see what you created and to hear how it was a good experience for you.