Short Hair Update :)

Thought I would post an update for those of you who recall my short hair girl post from a few weeks ago.  You can read that post HERE.  As you can see from this awkward self portrait I did not go for the pixie cut.  I went a lot shorter but to a style that I am already comfortable in.  

I have long been a fan of the short angled bob.  I have had this style many times.  What I like most about it is that it still feels long, you can pull it back, and if you get tired of this style it is super easy to grow out.  I have found over the years that when I am at my most emotional and feeling all mixed up inside (as I have been for months now)  it is never a good time to make drastic changes to my hair.  

So for now I am enjoying this cute 'do.  I only wish I could get it to look this good at home without a stylist!  lol

What I See. . .

'self portrait'

graphite sketch

"Scars are souvenirs you never loose,

The past is never far . . ."

~ John Rzeznik, Goo Goo Dolls

I did this self portrait sketch over a month ago. I am nervous about sharing it. I guess because it is so raw and personal. As some of you may know already I am a 10 year breast cancer survivor. I have been wanting to sketch this type of portrait for months now. Maybe it took me so long because I was afraid of what I would see. And yet I see this image each day when I get out of the shower and look in the mirror. It is something that has become a part of who I am. Although the scars have faded they will always be there. The emotional scars though are what have taken a toll. Those are the scars that I battle each day in my mind.

My husband reminded me the other day of this song by the Goo Goo Dolls which I have quoted above. It has always resonated with me because of all I have gone through even outside of my cancer experience. For me it is so true. Although the past is never far, (for me and all of us I would suspect it is just a thought away) somehow we need to keep moving forward.

This is what I have been struggling with lately especially with all that happened during 2011 in my personal life. I am longing to put the past behind me. Yet it creeps up in my mind on a daily basis haunting me like a bad dream.

It was healing for me to get this image out on paper.

Art is saving me in more ways than I ever imagined . . .

Sharing over at Sunday Sketches

First Self Portrait . . . I Am Here

self portrait, 1/2012

taken with iphone, processed with instagram filters

I am here
waiting,
hoping,
always fearing.

I am here
wondering truly what there is to be afraid of,
hoping to let go of it,
and trying to be more patient with myself.

I am here
still feeling the pain of lost love,
gazing over my shoulder
staring at the photos of days gone by,
fearing the pain will never go away.

I am here
missing, always missing.
missing the love,
missing the moments
missing the present.

I am here
longing to be free,
just wanting to be brave,
and let myself live.

I am here . . .