See Yourself . . .

"see yourself as you are"
mixed media on 5x7 watercolor paper
©cathy bueti


I was inspired by the colors used in the landscape I shared in my last post.  Its something about reds and blues lately that draws me in.  I usually stick with neutrals or earth tones.  Nothing too bold.  Maybe I need the bold colors to help get my angst out.  I may have overscribbled on this one but I don't care.  It is still my favorite part of the process when I work on these pieces.

The question mark in the top left appeared in the red paint all on its own as I was fingerpainting.  I brought it out more with black marker and the white out pen.  The words I wrote around the circle say "see  yourself as you are".  And at one point I do recall scribbling "who are you?"  Its really how I am feeling these days.  Not knowing who I am anymore.

I had a truly difficult day yesterday full of anxiety and tears.  It was mentally as well as physically exhausting.  My arm is not healing as well as I had hoped.  More anxiety over this issue that is now in 3 months of development.  I just want some relief, mentally that is.  I was on the phone yesterday with the doc again and she calmed me down.  I may end up seeing her again on Tuesday.  Apparently I have a deep stitch that may be working its way out when it should be dissolving.  I guess it doesn't like me.  I will try not to obsess over it this weekend but she assured me that she will be available by phone if I need her.  At least I have a really patient and nice doctor as I continue to deal with this arm issue.

Hope you have a great holiday weekend.  Here it will be quiet, hubby is working for the next 3 days. I will be on my own trying to stay calm and keep anxiety at bay.

I am sharing this piece today at Paint Party Friday.

Its always fun over there!  Come and join us.
xo

Control . . . Getting Messy With Paint

"Control"

acrylics on 8x10 art board

Its strange to me the title that came to mind for this piece. It feels very out of control to me. I painted this late last night which I don't normally do. But hubby fell asleep early and I was restless. So I went into my studio. I grabbed some alizarin crimson, payne's gray, a brush, some paper towels and started smearing then wiping. I had no idea or plan for what I was doing. When I saw what looked like water on the bottom start to come out I worked on bringing that out. I used white gesso instead of white paint. For some reason I really like the chalkiness of the gesso.

The butterfly stamps were an after thought but I like how they look against the darkness of this piece. It felt good to not pay attention to the end result but get caught up in the process which doesn't happen too often for me. With all the anxiety I had at the beginning of this week I feel like maybe I worked some of it out!

Its cool how you never know what you will see . . . I see a little white angel in the top left just above the "L" in Control! Do you see it too?