This is one of our first pictures together. Dad and I on my first christmas circa 1969. I think I was about 6 months old. Today is his birthday. He would have been 63. Three years ago today was the last day I saw him. He passed away from pancreatic cancer 2 months later.
Our relationship was a difficult one no doubt but in the end none of that seems to matter. My dad was an artist. He liked to sketch and draw but unfortunately life got in the way as did an alcohol addiction and he never utilized his creativity. I think I get my creative side from him. And I never realized this until he was gone and I began creating art! Sometimes I feel sad that he never lived to see my art but I think somehow he does see it from where he is now. Or at least I hope he does.
This photo was taken of us together at my wedding in May of 2003. I am pretty sure we were dancing to a Sinatra song. He was a big Sinatra fan. One of his favorite's was "Summer Wind". These days I try to take some solace in knowing he is now free to fly in that summer wind . . .
Beautiful post Cathy and beautiful photographs. The sadness of what we are able to see after the fact...of who our loved one was (parent, siblings, spouse)...and to be able to see ourselves within that person. It would be wonderful if we had that knowledge at a time when we could share it with that person but life works the way it is meant to.
ReplyDeleteYou sound at "peace" but I know you still have a hole in your heart where your father was...and your final sentence is simply, lovingly "perfect". xo
Very nice post Cathy. I remember you mentioning your dad in your book. Happy Birthday to him. Very nice tribute to your dad. ::hugs::
ReplyDeleteOur loved ones who are no longer watching us from above and protect the
ReplyDeleteheavens, we hear in our hearts!
Hugs Cathy!
PS
Beautiful Photo!!
what a beautiful post, I know he is still with you, no matter how much time goes by.
ReplyDeleteAll we can do is be present in every moment, and love our family, even with their faults. That way we will have no regrets, and we can make the world a more beautiful, and loving place for all.
xoxo
what a sweet post, cathy. those photos are priceless and i'm so happy you love your father so much, even though you didn't get to have the kind of relationship you really needed from him.
ReplyDeleteyou are a brave and loving woman!
xo
Wow - beautiful heart touching post!
ReplyDeleteI am sure that your dad sees you and sees your art.
♥
Lovely post, Cathy. Your father is obviously a big part of who you are & probably smiles down with great satisfaction. I am sending you a BIG hug!
ReplyDeleteOH, such an heartfelt post, cathy. you are very brave and obviously have worked through hard times in your life. you have such a positively positive way to reach good (ness) conclusions! happy birthday to your dad...we are very close in age, he and I. :) xoxo
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