Today I head to the city for my annual oncologist appointment. One would think that when you get to be 11 years out it would be a cake walk. Sadly not for me. Truth is that it feels like a big 'ol associated reaction. I woke up with a headache this morning, feel crappy, and just want to go back to bed. Actually I would prefer to hide under the covers for the day.
I always tell myself this is the "easy" appointment. I go for my mammo at the end of this month. That will be the doosy. The super stressful one. Who am I kidding, each appointment is stressful.
Last night I couldn't sleep. It was anxiety for today. So I created this digital collage using one of my recent paintings and a sketch. She looks so calm. She looks as though she is resting her head on love.
That is what I wish I was going to do today . . .
Sending you love today. Cathy, I don't think it matters how many years we're out from the day we're diagnosed...those visits are a "reminder" as much as they are a reassurance. I've talked to so many people who have had cancer experiences and we all say the same thing don't we? It's never a cake walk -- it's a trying ordeal that can grip us like a vice. So I'm sending hugs and love and the spirit you need to say "I can do this" and just get out there, do it and -- please, treat yourself to something a little outrageous when you've finished with the doctor. You deserve it...and heaven knows you've earned it! love you! xoxo
ReplyDeleteBeautiful collage and inspirational story. You're in my thoughts today. And I'm with Sherry: Treat yourself after.
ReplyDeleteSending good thoughts your way..for your 'cake walk' exam. Let's hope it's so!...and the mammo exam at the end of the month too!!
ReplyDeletei wish you peace
ReplyDeletefabulous results
vitality and health
dreams come true ~