Hearts and Truth . . .

mixed media journal page, 12/2012

Spending 2 weeks on the couch sick pummeled me into a breakdown of sorts.  When you have had cancer a simple cold or headache is no longer simple.  It begs you to question the reasons behind any and all aches and pains no matter how simple they may seem.  You begin to wonder if your body is hiding something behind the scenes.  You don't realize that just like anyone else you can get the common cold or flu for that matter.  

So the first day I was sick my headache pain threw me into a crying fit which caused tons of emotional stuff to fly from my lips.  Lou had just walked in the door to find me on the couch crying in pain.  I am sure he did not expect my rant.  Through my tears I rambled on about how I try so hard to stay well, taking a billion daily supplements, drinking green juice, trying to avoid sugar, trying to meditate, all in an attempt to prevent canser from ever coming back.  (yes I know I spelled it wrong, I do that on purpose to take away some of the power in the word)  I realized I am physically and emotionally exhausted from trying so hard.  I can't do it anymore.  I am worn out which is probably how I got sick in the first place.  Too much mental stress.  All of this brings me back to the belief in something bigger. As yet another member of my family was diagnosed with canser the survivors guilt (always waiting in the wings) creeps back in with a vengence.  And along with it comes its close friend, fear.  There has to be a big book somewhere with all the answers, most we are not meant to know.  Like how long our time here will be.  

My word for 2012 was "fearless"and I have failed miserably living up to it this year.  So as we are on the verge of beginning a new year I am not going to choose a word this time.  Instead I think I will try my hardest to focus on living in the moment, not in the past, or even looking too far into the future.  I want to laugh more, love more, find more peace, and spend my days creating with color.  

Thanks for your friendship, your sharing, and your support.  I look forward to more of these lovely connections in the new year!!

I wish for all of us an amazing year full of precious moments!!

xoxo

Procession . . . New Black and White Art

"procession"

acrylic on 8x10 wood panel

Well as you can see  my blog has been abandoned for a couple of weeks.  I have been down for the count and I did not even see it coming.  What started out as a cold evolved into what I can only believe was the flu.  I am finally feeling better but not quite over it yet.  It is s sneaky little bug.  I would feel better and then bad very quickly.  Thought I was good christmas eve only to spend christmas day on the couch.  Quite the bummer but certainly not the worst thing compared to the sadness that has been happening around us lately.  

I did however get one day where I felt well enough to paint.  And lately I have been enjoying creating abstracts using a scraper and my hands.  I love the texture it creates and really like the process of scraping the paint around.  

I wanted to try just black and white.  So for this piece which I did on cradled wood panel I applied alot of titanium white first.  I am finding that I like the hard surface to paint on.  Then I used the black mixing it into the white randomly.  I kept going till I felt it was done.  I see some figures on the left side.  What do you see?? 

Sharing with Paint Party Friday.  

I hope everyone had a lovely holiday.  I feel so out of the loop when I am not online.  Hope to visit you all very soon!

xo

Channeling The Horror . . .

9x12 mixed media on watercolor paper

I planned on painting Friday.  I had a failed image transfer on a piece of hot press watercolor paper from the day before waiting for me.   I would use a limited palette of payne's gray and titanium white.  And I wanted to use my scraper again since I enjoyed it so much creating the painting in my last post.  

I already heard the horrible news out of Newtown CT, a mere 20 miles away, before I began this piece.  I wanted to paint to try to shake off how disturbed and upset I was about what had happened.  What I did not expect when I stepped back were the figures that showed up along the bottom.  

I paint pieces like these intuitively.  I used my scraper very randomly smearing and scraping the paint around the paper.  I keep at it working very quickly (because if I stop and think my inner perfectionist comes out)  not paying much attention to what is happening.  The only specific work I did on purpose was the face of the woman. 

The tears were added to her face before I even noticed the figures below her.  Now I know why the tears were necessary.  

I continue to send prayers and peace to those lost and those left behind

xo

Tell Me . . . What Do You See??

9x12 mixed media on watercolor paper

Who knew it could be so much fun to paint with a squeegee!  Lou gave a an extra one he had from home depot (which btw is a great place to look for painting tools!)  and I wasn't sure if I would ever use it.  I quickly gave it a try on watercolor paper using a limited palette of payne's gray, quin nickel azo gold, and some titanium white.  These are colors I don't normally use together but I was inspired by a lesson in Misty Mawn's online class "Open Studio"  and thought I would give it a whirl.  

I only used my hands to lay down the initial layer of colors and then started scraping with the plastic scraper thingy.  I was nervous at first wondering how much of it I would mess up as I just randomly scraped away, blending and removing color all at the same time.  It also came in handy to scratch some lines which I often love to do.  

I was just about to add another layer over it because I did not like it at all when my husband came in and said he liked it.  He told me to leave it overnight and look at it with fresh eyes in the morning.  Pretty good advice.  He told me he saw a white house, and I realized I saw a bird in the center.  I also see a waterfall in the right lower corner.  When I posted this on facebook a friend told me he saw a nativity scene!

This is what I love most about painting abstract . . . each person who looks at it sees something different.  I love the discoveries!!  I love the images that just show up!

So now its  your turn.  What do you see??

Sharing at Paint Party Friday

xo

Wordless Wednesday . . .

sunset at the walk trail 

12/11/12

Self Portrait Play

Honestly I don't know what I did without that silly iPhone.  I find that I use it more often than my computer for altering photos.  I have so many images on it and with all the cool apps to use I get lost in the creativity.  Its just so darn convenient and easy to use.  

I don't really partake in self portrait photography.  Most likely because I am not so comfortable with images of myself.  But creatively I am a changing.  So I wanted to share a selfie that I took yesterday and altered with the Art Studio app and snapseed on my iphone.  

Hope to do more of these.  Next time I will try to have makeup on!  lol

xo

Landscape Painting . . . I've Missed You

I have always loved landscapes, in photography, and in paintings.  Despite the fact that I have had a difficult time being loose when I paint them I still love it.  When I discovered art just under 3 years ago I started out with landscapes.  But often I found that I tried too hard to be perfect.  All that did was kink my neck up much like portrait painting does.  

I had the idea for this piece a few days ago and decided to give it a try.  I have been getting looser and more abstract with my art as of late so I wondered how that would affect my landscape attempt.  Well, I happily discovered that it enhanced it.  I don't like to use paintbrushes anymore so I was able to paint this with just my hands.  Not easy but fun!  I picked some non typical colors but some of my favorites.  I used payne's gray, alizarin crimson, raw umber, and titanium white.  

Linking up with Paint Party Friday.  Click HERE to join us!

Looking forward to seeing what you all have been up to!

xo

Sketching Faces . . . Its Been Awhile

I don't quite know why or how I got so far away from sketching . . . anything . . .

The other day I was watching reading through Misty Mawn's book Unfurling (amazing book, a must read!! )and felt inspired to sketch a face.  It was so long since I had sketched that I feared I couldn't do it.  I used charcoal and white pastel which is new for me.  Typically my sketches were only graphite.  I used the eraser to pull out the light areas.  I found this way a bit trickier, adding the light with the pastel.  Despite the fact it blended like a dream with the charcoal I found myself annoyed with the dust.  And then there were too many layers to erase.  Don't worry, there is a happy ending to this rant!  

The moment I began writing the word love all over her I finally fell in love with the sketch . . . 

Sharing with Sunday Sketches